Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Vintage WWF Review: October 1993

I'm back. Unfortunately, this mother fucker is too.
Howdy, all! It's great to back here with the Vintage WWF Reviews! I know I've been away for a long time, but now that I've got the personal life and job under control I should be able to update on a regular basis and keep you all up-to-date on the happenings of wrestling nearly twenty years ago.

October of '93 was a pretty ridiculous month in the World Wrestling Federation. Shawn Michaels had been stripped of his Intercontinental Title by a power-hungry douche, Nashville's greatest secret shows his face, and Survivor Series feuds begin to take shape. While September was a bit of a slow month, McMahon and cronies kicked it into high gear this month and put out an extremely exciting product for wrestling fans the world over. But I've been away for too long, so to hell with this introduction shit and let's get into the month's finer points.

It's great to see Owen Hart in the ring, and this month marks the beginning of Owen as a really notable character in the WWF. He's shown his admittedly ugly mug many times in the past, especially with Koko B. Ware in High Energy, but this month he seems to be getting some recognition as a semi-credible singles wrestler with an appearance in the IC Title battle royal and a win over Scott King, jobber extraordinaire. I assume this is the natural build-up for his character leading into his feud with brother Brett that will kick off next month. No matter the reason, it's always fun to see Owen in the ring; the man was a great wrestler and a fun character over the years.

Speaking of the battle royal for a chance at the Intercontinental Title, it was absolutely fantastic! The match featured twenty wrestlers with the stipulation that the last two men standing would face each other the following week for the title. The battle royal played out very well and the last five-to-ten minutes with The Quebecers, Martel, Razor, Adam Bomb and Savage were extremely entertaining. I have never been a huge fan of battle royals (though I do love the Royal Rumble) and I was extremely impressed and entertained by this match, which was a great way to open the month. In the end, Razor and Martel were the final participants, which pleased me greatly.

It's hilarious to hear Randy Savage just go off on Hogan randomly during the October 18th episode of RAW. While talking about Crush, Savage takes a radical left turn and unleashes some fury on Hogan for no apparent reason. It give me a nice chuckle.

Just one rant before we get to the month's awards: why in the hell is Tatanka still around (and still being billed as undefeated)? This guy has been sucking the life out of the product since I started this project and it's pissing me off. The man is not entertaining, his character sucks, and I doubt he is pulling in a large Indian (fuck that Native American bullshit) demographic. So why the hell is this no-talent dingleberry on my television every month and being fed win after win? Just fire this faggot and move forward with bigger and better stereotypes, like black rappers!


Scott Hall prior to becoming Cuban
Superstar of the Month: Razor Ramon. It's hard not to consider Ramon the SotM; after all, the man did win both a battle royal (along with Rick Martel) and the Intercontinental Championship in consecutive weeks. Not only was Hall's performance in the battle royal superb, but the man put on the best match of the month with Martel for the mid-card belt. It's fun to see Hall doing so well, but it's also somewhat sad knowing what he has become in the wrestling world.

Match of the Month: Razor Ramon v. Rick Martel (IC Title). It's pretty obvious to anyone who knows anything about wrestling that Razor Ramon will win this match. Of course as a child, I was ecstatic when Razor pulled out the victory, but looking back I should have there was no way Martel was going to walk out of the Manhattan Center with the title. Having said that, Martel was at the top of his game here and had a great match. As I've noted in the past, I love Martel and think he's a great talent and was never given the push he deserved in the WWF. Martel shows in this match that he can hang with the best of the best in the Federation, even if the Boston Crab is the worst finisher since the single-leg Boston Crab. Both men put on a show here and, in the end, Razor escapes two Boston Crabs and hits the Razor's Edge for the win and the Intercontinental Championship. Here's the match for anyone who wants to watch:

Promo of the Month: Ludvig Borga and Lex Luger. Ludvig Borga is one of the most entertaining characters of the era in the World Wrestling Federation. The guy's deadpan delivery as he insults every culture known to man is surprisingly hilarious and he's fairly decent in the ring. This promo was awesome because you had Borga's American hatred clashing with Luger's American pride (note the pants) while Savage and McMahon orgasm with nationalism. It's hilariously bad/good, and I particularly love Borga's delivery on "people currently working" joke and his line about earning respect. Classic.

Debut of the Month: Rock 'n' Roll Express. Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson randomly showed up this month, apparently "hounding" Jim Cornette. If only they realized how much nobody cared. I've never been much of a Morton fan, so this debut wasn't particularly memorable for me and I really don't care to see anything Smokey Mountain related other than Jim Cornette (though I'll give props to the Heavenly Bodies).

Most Awesome Non-Wrestling Moment: Jeff Jarrett appears! This month marks the beginning of Jeff Jarrett's vignettes preceding an inevitable debut from the man some of the worst in-ring attire I've ever seen. He spells his name, he shows up at random Southern landmarks, and he's a stellar speller. He's J-E-Double-F J-A-Double-R-E-Double-T! I love Jeff Jarrett.

Most Ridiculous Bullshit This Month: Crush/Savage Summit. I don't know what the fuck McMahon was thinking with Brian Adams in general, but Crush is easily one of the worst wrestlers of all-time. I hate this mullet head with a passion, and his heel turn was mind-blowingly retarded. Add a past-his-prime Savage in a ridiculous outfit to the mix and you've got the least cared about angle I've ever seen. Fuck.

Most Vicious Move Landed: Steiner Screwdriver. This move is pretty devastating, and kudos to PJ Walker for taking the move this month, making him the obvious choice for Jobber of the Month. Here's a look at the move for those unfamiliar with it:

Quotes of the Month:

"It's popcorn, you idiot!" - Vince McMahon after Doink dumps popcorn on "The Brain."

"Probably the toughest human being, pound for pound, walking the streets today." - Bobby Heenan on Harvey Wippleman.

Reflections: October picked up the pace from a somewhat lackluster September and began planting the seeds that will be sown at Survivor Series. Aside from Crush and Tatanka, everyone entertained spectacularly and we even saw the crowning of a new IC Champion. Add to the fact that it looks like a Shawn Michaels return and a Jarrett debut are just around the river bend and we've what looks to be an exciting finish setting up for the year. I can't wait for November, and you shouldn't have to wait more than a few days for the review!

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